by Jason Armstrong
Publication date : January 24, 2016
If you have asked people about the definition of solosexual say thirty years ago, I bet not many would understand what that term means. I doubt if that term even existed back then. However, today we have the definitions and terminologies of many things that might’ve existed a long time ago but did not have a single word referring to them or defining them. Today solosexuality is not just a term but an actual culture that is being embraced by many men around the world. I am using men exclusively here not because females cannot be solosexuals but because from what I see around, men are more out about it and embrace it than females. I think the author focused on it that way too based on his own connections and experiences.
Right from the prologue, Jason Armstrong takes us with him to one of his visits to a gay sex club with all the kinkiness and pigginess in the BDSM world of men. The fascinating questions that the author raises in his prologue make sense and I personally can relate to them as well. Why is that the memory of a particular sexual action more meaningful than the real-time experience? I think many men will feel this question relatable if they carefully think about it. At times we do sleazy things we might not enjoy a lot but the memory of doing that action will remain in our head and we keep getting off hard on it! Still not feeling this relatable?
“The memory of a sexual adventure not only served as bate fuel, but my mind could also magically turn a negative into a positive.”
The author then goes on to shed some light on his own masturbation (bate) ritual. What does masturbation means to him and how it makes him feel compared to sex with a partner. Yet again, with the sleazy and charming writing style and complete honesty, I don’t see how any reader cannot feel the connection, especially gay readers. The exploration of the bate world is fascinating too. I have experienced that myself, the way men use dirty talk with each other, pushing buttons to encourage each other bate and lose their senses about everything except their penises. Many Twitter accounts are embracing this thing by tweeting bate encouraging pictures and memes relating to penis and porn addiction.
The whole book is for sure a trigger warning for bators and porn addicts, but if you are one I guess you will always welcome such trigger warnings with open arms and legs! There is so much intimacy along with kinkiness in the author’s description about his bate sessions and how he starts them and what he tries to achieve in them. Jason Armstrong gives us a good lesson that intimacy does not necessarily need to happen with a partner. One can get really intimate with himself, his own body, and sex organs. People should understand that masturbation is sex too, not just a substitute for what they call the “real thing” i.e. sex with a partner.
Another important topic the author focuses on is the Bate Brotherhood, explaining the positive culture of this brotherhood as it is a culture accepting all kinds of men, smooth or hairy, heavy or skinny, black or white, and so on. It is just about men going deeper and deeper into penis worship and bating. The author always shares his own experiences with those who have no idea about the bating culture. The sense of belonging and connection is intense between bators.
“We wanted nothing less than to smell each other’s pits in our beards, to huff poppers and worship dick together for hours, tying our dicks together so that we could feel each other’s every throb and pulse. We wanted to bond as men, filling the air with our combined manscent, inhaling each other, marking each other’s territory with piss exchange. Chain smoking our way through it and swapping the smoke, spitting into each other’s mouths. Ending in a heap of sweat, spit, cum and piss on our matted, hairy bodies.”
Several chapters are brilliantly written and explained that raise many questions inside your head be it the one that talks about self-love and how that one person’s imperfection could be the fetish of someone else’s. Then there is this interesting chapter that talks about masturbation addiction and the author’s perspective about it. The talk about religious ecstasy compared to sexual ecstasy is truly fascinating and how the two become one in a bate session sending a man to the highest level of bliss. There is a lot to read and a lot to think about.
When it comes to nonfiction, especially those depending on the author’s personal experiences, I need to build a connection with the author through his words. I just love how honest and open Jason Armstrong is in expressing himself whether it is about his feelings, sexuality, or experiences. That honesty and openness created a strong connection between his writing and my mind especially because this is a subject not usually talked about openly and I don’t think it has been brought up enough in literature. After reading the first few paragraphs, I knew that I was going to get a lot from this book and enjoy it as well. I think many readers should read this book as it will make them think and ask questions about themselves, their feelings, and sexuality and their loved ones. It was a fantastic read for me.
Themes:
- Nonfiction
- Sexuality
- Masturbation
- Bate Culture
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